Anecdotes
The anecdotes are published here for us to relax and rethink.
A1: Be Humble Before An ESP Master & Heaven
An ESP master was invited to Falun Gong meeting as a guest. Being humble and just ordinary looking, an instructor came and bragged that he had been practicing for over a decade and had the ability to help people open their third eyes. Being annoyed by the young man’s attitude, the master said, “Not only I can help you open the third eyes, I can also help to close them.” The young man said, “Never heard of it! How can you close people’s third eyes?” The master just blinked his eyes and the young man’s third eye was blocked forever. However, that ESP master was not really a humble person and repeatedly kept telling this fake story to others. Eventually, the Heaven closed his eyes.
A2:
Self-Injured Taichi Master
In
a public demonstration, a famous Taichi master, Mr. Cheng, was bragging that he
was the only legitimate disciple of the fourth generation Yang Style Taichi
boxing. During public conversation, a man came to talk to him briefly.
By
midnight, his shoulder and upper arm were swollen. He asked for his student’s
help. They were both wondered how this could happen. They did not have any
challenge that day. The student asked the master to recollect every detail of
the day. Cheng realized that there was an old man came to talk and tapped his
shoulder.
The student asked his master to see that man. Cheng refused at first. As they became more nervous, Cheng finally went to see him urgently. He said, “You have just learned a new lesson today.” After that, Cheng seldom bragged again in public and his student was forbid to talk about this.
When
Cheng met the man years later, he would say, “Hi, I quit bragging. Don’t
ever come closer to me.”
A3:
The Five Skills Mice
In the ancient times of China, there was a species of mice nicknamed “the five skills mice.” According to the historical documents, this kind of mice could fly, run, dig, climb, and swim. However, when their enemies came, they could not outfly, outrun, or outswim. Then he tried to climb up to the trees. The enemies could also climb and caught some of those rare species. The last one left was trying to dig a hole but left his tail outside. Eventually, they were all extinguished.
A4:
The Seven Talents Man
There
once was a master who was so knowledgeable and teaching the major seven Chinese
arts: poem, calligraphy, painting, linguistics, martial arts … He earned a
title “The Seven Talents Man.” However, he would not let anyone touch his
shoulder.
A5:
Wang Hsi-Chih Could Never Have Done Better
In
the ninth year of Yong-He ( 永
和
),
Wang and many officers and scholars were gathering at the Lan Ting (
蘭
亭
)
Pavilion.
As they had a happy time for playing instruments and writing articles, they
drank a lot. He wrote the famous “Lan Ting Prologue
蘭
亭
序
”.
But when he woke up, he was not satisfied. He tried to write several times but
could not do better. It became the most famous Chinese calligraphy artwork and
later was buried with an Emperor of the Tang Dynasty.
A6:
Wang Hsian-Chih
When
Wang Hsian-Chih (
王
獻
之
)
was young, he thought his calligraphy was already as good as his father’s. One
day Wang Hsi-Chih (
王
羲
之
)
wrote something on a piece of furniture and left the house. The son scratched
his father’s calligraphy and put on his own, thinking that he could duplicate
his father’s work. When Wang Hsi-Chih came back, he said to himself “I must
have been drunk. My calligraphy should not look so bad!” When the son heard
this, he deeply regretted, and he became so determined to practice diligently and later
became as good and famous as the father!
A7:
Wang Hsian-Chih’s Chichi
Most calligraphy theories tell us that we have to hold the brush as tight as possible. The most famous story was Wang Hsi-Chih trying to snatch away his son’s brush from behind while Wang Hsian-Chih was practicing. He did not make it and said, “This boy will win great fame for himself in calligraphy!”
Yet we don’t know how many times this kid had tricked
his father by looking
at a chichi mirror when the father was coming for an attack.
A8:
Calligrapher Monk Zhu Yong
Zhu
Yong ( 智
永
) was the seventh generation descendant of Wang Hsi-Chih. He became a
famous calligrapher in Tsao and Kai Styles in the Sui Dynasty. He wrote
thousands of copies of “The 1000 Characters of Tsao and Kai Shu (
真
草
千
字
文
)”
and distributed to different temples. It is said that he got into a Buddhist
tower and stayed up there for 40 years practicing calligraphy without coming
down. Wait a minute, how can a monk live a life like that?
According
to some insider Buddhist document, he was actually imprisoned in the tower. When
he was with other monks, he was not cooperative. All he thought was calligraphy,
calligraphy, and calligraphy… He did not want to attend any ceremony or
lecture meeting even though the other monks purposely built a big ringing bell by his
room. They respected him as Wang Hsi-Chi’s descendant but not as an
eat-free-live-free monk.
As
days went by, he was so concentrated on calligraphy that he usually did not want
to take showers or change clothes. The board of directors and the CEO of that
temple summoned him final decrees for several times. He would not change his
mind. So they assigned him a position as a "Xerox copy machine" – to duplicate
Buddhist scriptures day and night for distributions to temples. However, he did
not work as a full time non-stop copier. Instead he was using the position as a
way to practice calligraphy. Each time when a copy of
“The 1000 Characters"
was made, he would summon an
illiterate monk as a delivery boy. Later he was remembered for his great
contribution to scriptures research and calligraphy. What a win-win situation!
A9:
Confucius’ Worry
Confucius
once said, “I am not concerned at not being known; I seek to be worthy to be
known.” Then he knocked his student’s head and said, “Are you sure you
have written down my words? Are you listening?”
A10:
It’s Done When It’s Done
A
busy foreign minister wanted to learn Chi Kung to improve his health. He asked
the master, “How long and when will I get well if I start practicing now?”
The master said, “When you get well you get well … and BTW, you are not
blowing a balloon.”
A11:
Sex Is Better Than Tai Chi Chuan
A
local martial arts businessman bragged to his students, “If you wanna learn
Taichi, my master and I are the only two that you can learn real skills.” One
day, as he was puffing to his student, he came up to the conclusion that Tai Chi
Chuan was a way to reach God without religion. Another student just bragged that
when doing Tai Chi Chuan forms he felt it was better than sex! The next day,
they found a lost book “Sex for Dummies” in the training hall.
Two
weeks later as the businessman was talking about Tai Chi Chuan push hands, a
student constantly asked, ”What is this for?” The man got pissed off and
said, “What do you want?” He said, “I wanna be a great Taichi boxer.”
The man said, “Forget about it. In a fighting ring, they will knock you down
with one blow! Just play it safe here.”
A12:
The Myth of Disappearing
A
Chinese asked a lady in a psychic fair if she’d ever heard of Chinese internal or external martial arts. She said, “Is internal style supposed to
help people walk through the wall?”
A13:
For My Soul Only
When
Anton Rubinstein came to the U.S. for concert tours, the audiences were shocked.
A reporter asked him, “Maestro, can you play something for our souls? We need some
enlightenment.” “I played for mine, but not yours,” he said.
A14:
Not Everybody Recognize You
When
a young man was heading to the Carnegie Hall for a concert, he met Issac Stern
on the street and asked for directions. He replied, “Practice, practice, and practice.”
A15:
Einstein’s Foresight
Godowsky
and Eistein deeply admired each other before they met.
Godowsky
hoped that he could listen to Einstein explaining his theory
while Einstein hoped to play duet with the virtuoso pianist. After they played a
duet, Godowsky was deeply annoyed. Later he was chosen as a commissioner by the
Carnegie Hall to invite Einstein to play violin recital for charity. They sent
several invitations to Einstein but he never replied. They asked Godowsky for advice
and he said, “I am glad he just accepted.”
A16:
No One Knows If I Never Practice
Franz
Liszt and many musicians used to say, “If I don’t practice one day, I know
it. If I don’t practice for two days, my colleagues know it. If I don’t
practice for three days, my audiences know it.” Upon hearing this, Godowsky
said, “If I don’t practice for the fourth day, the critics will know it.”
Then his young son said, “How come the critics never know since I never
practice?”
A17:
The Master
A student went to a calligraphy specialty store to buy a copy book. The price was $250. So he told the owner that he was a student of the renowned Master Tu. Then the owner offered for $230.
After he went back, the master said, "How come my name is worthy of only $20?"
When the student met the owner again, he told him what his master said. The owner replied, "It's better I did not give you the book for free or else your master is worthless!
A18:
The Hog’s Son
When
a boy was eating with a very bad table manner, the father asked him, “You eat
like a pig … BTW, do you know the difference between a pig and a hog?” “A
pig is the son of a hog.”
A19:
Mouth for Mouth
A
rich man was partying to show off his young smart boy. A man came to him and
said, “You are really so smart when you are young, but when you grow up you
may not be outstanding.” The boy replied, “Then I assume you must be very,
very smart in your youth.”
A20:
How to Protect Women
Howard
Stern once asked his guest to pick up a woman out of three provided that he must
kill the other two. He asked, “Which one will you pick and which one will you
kill first?” The man said, “I will kill you first and then get them all.”
A21:
The Beautifully Clothed Geese
A
king worried for his son to be tricked by women when he grew up. So he let his
son educated by male teachers and segregated him from all females. One day the
boy saw a group of women by the river and was obsessed by their beauty. He
asked, “Daddy, what are those beautiful creatures?” The king replied,
“Those are geese. Stay away! They are dangerous!” He said, “But my teacher
just show me pictures of geese yesterday. They are white and are not wearing
clothes.”
A22:
Calligraphy Not New Age Stuff
When
a mom saw her daughter start doing Chinese calligraphy, she stopped her, “Hey,
we should not learn characters of a gentile country. This is New Age stuff. I
saw those writings in a New Age book. Plus, the meditative posture of doing
Chinese calligraphy has similar principles as in Yoga … and in mind clearing,
whatever … so scary…” The daughter asked, “Then why are you going to
Indian restaurants all the time? They have pictures of elephant gods on the
wall. In addition, they don’t have Kosher food.” “… …”
A23:
Best Friend is Loneliness
A
runner was so focused on training that his fellows asked him, “Buddy, who is
your best friend?”
“Loneliness”,
he replied.
A24:
Three Swordsmen
Three
swordsmen from France, Japan and China gathered together to compare their
skills. They had a courteous competition. The French whipped his sword in the
sky and a fly came down. The Japanese cut a fly’s wings without killing it. Then the
Chinese moved his weapon in the air and nothing happened. The two wondered,
“Is this what you are showing us?” The Chinese said, “Check it!” A fly
was just circumcised.
General Lee Guan ( 李 廣 ) of ancient China once saw a fierce tiger as he just woke up and walked out of his tent. He immediately took an arrow, aimed at it, and shot it dead. As he made sure it did not move, he walked near and found out it was just a big rock. He realized he must have been drunk or too tired. So he tried to shoot through the rock but he never made it again.
A26:
孔 子
學 琴
|
孔
子
學
琴 孔子是我國春秋時期偉大的政治家、思想家和教育家。他也喜歡唱歌、作曲，還能鼓瑟、彈琴，會彈奏好几种樂器。有一段時間，孔子跟魯國的樂師師襄子學彈七弦琴。
這一天，師襄子教完了一支樂曲，要他獨自練習十天，然后再教新曲。可是十天過去了，孔子仍然埋頭苦練老曲子，似乎把學新曲的事忘記了。師襄子提醒他說：“你已經把這首曲子彈熟了，可以另學新曲了。”孔子卻說：“不行啊，我只是剛剛把音律彈熟，技法還很生疏哩！”
又過了幾天，師襄子說：“你的技法熟練了，可以學新曲了。”不料孔子又說：“不行啊！我還沒有明白它的內容呢！這不能說是真會。”于是又埋頭彈起來。
再過了好幾天，師襄子又提醒他說：“好啦，你不僅熟悉了它的音律、技法，連它的內容也明白了，可以彈新曲子了！”孔子仍然搖頭說：“不行呀，我依然算不得真會，我還沒有体會到作曲者的為人呢！”
師襄子覺得言之有理，也就不再催促他練新曲了，只是耐心的等待著。
時間又過去了好幾天。這一天，孔子正埋頭彈琴，彈著，彈著，忽然抬起頭來兩眼閃爍著喜悅的光芒。他對師襄子說：“好啦，我知道作曲家是怎樣一個人了！這個人高高的個子，黑黝黝的臉，眼睛炯炯有神，是個具有王者氣質的人。莫非這曲子是周文王所作？我想除了他，別人是作不出這樣好的曲子來的！”
師襄子不禁大惊，恍然醒悟道：“若不是你今天這麼一說，我倒把這一切都忘記了。是呀，很久以前，我的老師曾經對我說過這首曲子叫《文王操》，它的作者是周文王。”
師襄子對孔子佩服不已，身不由己地躬身相拜。孔子急忙回禮，說：“我現在可以學彈新曲了！”
Confucius
lived during the Spring and Autumn period and was China’s great
statesman,
educator, and thinker. He liked singing, music
composition, could play the drums, Chinese zither and several other
musical instruments. For a period of time, Confucius studied the
seven-string Qin with Lu Country's musician Shi-Hsiang Tzu. One
day, Shi-Hsiang Tzu taught him a tune and wanted him to practice alone and
then start teaching him a new tune afterwards. Ten days later Confucius still
practiced so diligently the first tune that he forgot to study the new
tune. Shi-Hsiang Tzu reminded him of this and said: "Your have
perfected the first tune I gave you and therefore I gave you a new
tune to study." Confucius replied: "I am not good at it.
I barely understand its meaning and my technique is not polished!” Several
days later, Shi-Hsiang Tzu said: "Your technique is excellent;
therefore, I give you a new tune to study.” Confucius interrupted
and said: "It is not good! I have not understood its content! I
cannot say that I understand its meaning." Confucius started to
practice hard again. Several
more days passed and Shi-Hsiang Tzu pointed out to Confucius: “Your
execution of the song is good. You have understood its
mood, the technique and its intent. Therefore I approve that you
learn a new song.” Confucius still shook the head said: “It’s
still not good enough. I still think that I have not understood its
meaning and I have not understood the composer’s personality!"
(Adapted
from: http://www.chineseguqin.com/site/Article_Show.asp?ArticleID=112
Shi-Hsiang Tzu, who did not previously admire Confucius bowed to him without reservation. Confucius rushed to say: “Now I must not delay to study a new tune!" |
A27:
The Future of Chinese Arts
Bruce
Lee, Jackie Chan, director Lo Wei and Robert Clouse were discussing the future
of martial arts movies. Jet Li was sitting on a high chair with his mom while
they were all eating at a Chinese buffet restaurant. The buffet had the largest
collection of Chinese food in America. As the chef served the food to cater
non-Chinese, Bruce got pissed off and said, “God damn it!” Jackie said,
“Fuck it! We have better Dim Sum in Hong Kong. Why are we here eating this
shit?” Robert said, “It does not make any difference to me. It still tastes
good!” Lo Wei replied, “See, is this supposed to be the future of Chinese
arts?”
A28: Left-Handed or Right-Handed?
Once there was a bodyguard who was deeply trusted by the king for he defeated all attacks and enemies. He was known for his unparalleled fast sword among all other bodyguards. Surprisingly, he was left-handed.
In an ambush by the king's enemies, his left arm was severely injured while protecting the king ... Later the king recruited more bodyguards and did not trust his ability any more. In spite of the king's and other bodyguard's negligence, he was still loyal to the king. He "began" to use the sword with his right arm in front of them. However, they no longer paid attention to his "unparalleled fast sword" due to his injured left arm.
One day when the king and his bodyguards were trapped in an ambush, all of the boastful bodyguards were defeated and the king's life was in great danger. He had no choice but to show his real ability with his right arm to defeat all of the enemies by himself. The king had never learned that the man's true ability was his right arm though he had been protecting him for twenty years!